losing myself...

I used to be able to dance with all my being…. I could let myself go and laugh at myself. I loved it and all I wanted to do was dance. Nothing mattered. The only thing that was important was when I took the stage and began to dance. Whatever happened before, in the studio, didn’t matter. Whatever happened afterwards didn’t matter either. I was always in the moment. Glad and excited to be onstage and filled with an unexplainable joy for what I was doing. It felt like a light was shining right from my heart and filling the entire theater. It was fun and I didn’t care if I messed up. When I started to seriously consider my future I worked harder and concentrated so much that I hated every mistake I made. I started feeling like I wasn’t good enough which made me strive harder. The constant drive I had was because I knew that I loved dancing. My mind knew it but… my mind kept forgetting it. I wouldn’t even smile anymore when I danced. I wouldn’t let go and just let the dance take me. The one thing that killed my dancing was my love for it…